Counseling
There are many similarities between psychotherapy and counseling but there are also many differences. The differences depend on the problem, the therapeutic approach, and the targets for the resolution of the problem. One of these differences concerns the motivations and the conflicts of the individual.
When the conflicts are at the conscious level, in other words when the individual knows what his problem is, it can be dealt with easier through counseling. Sometimes the problem is not at the conscious level and the individual does not understand the motivation for his behavior or for his emotion. For example, when he feels unexplained sadness or he bursts out with unexplained anger the problem should be dealt with through psychotherapy. The knowledge and specialization of the therapist play an important role in the solution of the problem.
Counseling usually centers around one particular problem which may occur during a certain period of the individual’s life and may seriously affect his ability to cope. The individual, the couple, the family who visit a counselor have the opportunity through dialogue to explore, to examine, and to find solutions for the particular problem which concerns them. For example: an adolescent who is undergoing excessive stress during the examination period will learn how to deal with his anxiety; parents will learn how to approach their child; a couple will learn how to improve the communication between them. The dialogue with the counselor gives the individuals the opportunity to enrich their understanding of themselves and to find a solution for their problem.
The course of therapy through counseling is often shorter than that of psychotherapy. The search for a solution helps them to discover that they have the ability to remove the barriers that cause dysfunction and open a road to a more functional way of life.
Couples Counseling
The difference between couples counseling and family therapy is that couples counseling focuses on the problems in the relationship of the couple and not on the problems of the children as usually happens with family therapy. In recent years, because of changes in the social norms, it is acceptable for couples living together to visit a therapist whether they are married or not. A marriage therapist is the same as a couples therapist.
When two people decide to join their lives they create a common direction. Over time, problems may occur which require the couple to make changes which will allow them to live harmoniously. One of the problems which often occurs is when one person retreats defensively and the other tries to maintain closeness. The one who attempts to maintain closeness accuses and puts the blame on the one who retreats. The roles often change depending on the way each person fulfills their emotional needs. For example, when a woman experiences emotional pressure, she approaches her husband and what she really wants is for him to listen to her, to understand her, and to share her emotions. A man, however, may approach his wife sexually and through her physical appearance and her touch, he can be relieved of his emotional anxiety. Both seek the help of their mate to deal with their anxiety but their means of approach are in opposition to the needs of the other.
The causes of the conflicts between couples are many. Their common trait is the constantly increasing emotional pressure. If the couple does not try to understand what is happening in their relationship, what is the meaning of those conflicts, and why they feel trapped; they are effectively choosing alienation and withdrawal as the only solution. The individual’s need to fill their emotional void often causes them to turn to their mate and to expect from them to cover the void which they were unable to cover themselves. Emotional voids are a universal problem. I don’t belong; I’m not important; they don’t care about me; I’m a failure; I feel lonely, sad, ashamed. People are different in the level, the way of expression, and the frequency of those emotions. When they realize that the negative emotions they are feeling would be there even if they weren’t with their mate, they change their perspective. They begin to search for the source of their emotions, what do they mean, and how can they fill their own void without demanding that other people fill them. Through the process of searching, the couple learns that they have common emotions which they express in different ways. Between them an emotional climate is formed which allows them to express and to accept themselves and allow their mate to do the same.
All couples occasionally face disappointment, disagreement, emotional distress. How they overcome such difficult situations depends on the feeling of self-respect each one has, the way they express it, the demands each one has for the other, and the way they behave toward each other as a result of those demands. Love is an emotion. It comes without reason. Marriage usually begins with that emotion. How it will develop and mature will depend from and will be shown by every-day life and the expectations each one has for the other. There are couples who, even though their relationship began with feelings of love, as time passed, it developed into anger, despair, and tangled emotions. There are other couples who experienced tremendous pain and became so far apart from each other that the love ceased to exist. In such situations each one will have to proceed alone using the experience of the relationship as a knowledge base for learning more about himself.
There are many similarities between psychotherapy and counseling but there are also many differences. The differences depend on the problem, the therapeutic approach, and the targets for the resolution of the problem. One of these differences concerns the motivations and the conflicts of the individual.
When the conflicts are at the conscious level, in other words when the individual knows what his problem is, it can be dealt with easier through counseling. Sometimes the problem is not at the conscious level and the individual does not understand the motivation for his behavior or for his emotion. For example, when he feels unexplained sadness or he bursts out with unexplained anger the problem should be dealt with through psychotherapy. The knowledge and specialization of the therapist play an important role in the solution of the problem.
Counseling usually centers around one particular problem which may occur during a certain period of the individual’s life and may seriously affect his ability to cope. The individual, the couple, the family who visit a counselor have the opportunity through dialogue to explore, to examine, and to find solutions for the particular problem which concerns them. For example: an adolescent who is undergoing excessive stress during the examination period will learn how to deal with his anxiety; parents will learn how to approach their child; a couple will learn how to improve the communication between them. The dialogue with the counselor gives the individuals the opportunity to enrich their understanding of themselves and to find a solution for their problem.
The course of therapy through counseling is often shorter than that of psychotherapy. The search for a solution helps them to discover that they have the ability to remove the barriers that cause dysfunction and open a road to a more functional way of life.
Couples Counseling
The difference between couples counseling and family therapy is that couples counseling focuses on the problems in the relationship of the couple and not on the problems of the children as usually happens with family therapy. In recent years, because of changes in the social norms, it is acceptable for couples living together to visit a therapist whether they are married or not. A marriage therapist is the same as a couples therapist.
When two people decide to join their lives they create a common direction. Over time, problems may occur which require the couple to make changes which will allow them to live harmoniously. One of the problems which often occurs is when one person retreats defensively and the other tries to maintain closeness. The one who attempts to maintain closeness accuses and puts the blame on the one who retreats. The roles often change depending on the way each person fulfills their emotional needs. For example, when a woman experiences emotional pressure, she approaches her husband and what she really wants is for him to listen to her, to understand her, and to share her emotions. A man, however, may approach his wife sexually and through her physical appearance and her touch, he can be relieved of his emotional anxiety. Both seek the help of their mate to deal with their anxiety but their means of approach are in opposition to the needs of the other.
The causes of the conflicts between couples are many. Their common trait is the constantly increasing emotional pressure. If the couple does not try to understand what is happening in their relationship, what is the meaning of those conflicts, and why they feel trapped; they are effectively choosing alienation and withdrawal as the only solution. The individual’s need to fill their emotional void often causes them to turn to their mate and to expect from them to cover the void which they were unable to cover themselves. Emotional voids are a universal problem. I don’t belong; I’m not important; they don’t care about me; I’m a failure; I feel lonely, sad, ashamed. People are different in the level, the way of expression, and the frequency of those emotions. When they realize that the negative emotions they are feeling would be there even if they weren’t with their mate, they change their perspective. They begin to search for the source of their emotions, what do they mean, and how can they fill their own void without demanding that other people fill them. Through the process of searching, the couple learns that they have common emotions which they express in different ways. Between them an emotional climate is formed which allows them to express and to accept themselves and allow their mate to do the same.
All couples occasionally face disappointment, disagreement, emotional distress. How they overcome such difficult situations depends on the feeling of self-respect each one has, the way they express it, the demands each one has for the other, and the way they behave toward each other as a result of those demands. Love is an emotion. It comes without reason. Marriage usually begins with that emotion. How it will develop and mature will depend from and will be shown by every-day life and the expectations each one has for the other. There are couples who, even though their relationship began with feelings of love, as time passed, it developed into anger, despair, and tangled emotions. There are other couples who experienced tremendous pain and became so far apart from each other that the love ceased to exist. In such situations each one will have to proceed alone using the experience of the relationship as a knowledge base for learning more about himself.